Joe The Plumber Part Deux (3/2/2010)

Took me from Friday to Tuesday to finish replacing the faucets. I never said I was fast at this business.

It did turn out well and the fire-breathing She-Devil is now appeased.

However, in my experience, periods of appeasement are always followed by periods of significant turbulence, unless a sacrifice is offered to the gods.

I’ve learned this from both personal experience as well as reading world history. It boils down to - when the volcano is about to explodes, if you don’t throw a virgin into the abyss, there will be a violent eruption.

Therefore, I put an Ad in the personals section of the St Louis Post Dispatch Newspaper seeking virgins to contact me about appeasing the DW by jumping from the top of the St. Louis Arch and thereby sacrifice their life to protect my old ass from evil.

Strange as it may seem, I have yet to receive any replies.

Maybe, current generation virgins are not as willing to avert calamity as were previous generation virgins. What is this world coming to?

Therefore, I will go to plan B: seek non-virgins to sacrifice their life for my wellbeing.

My rational is that a sacrificial virgin might give me 30 years of peace. But if a non-virgin sacrifice can give me just 20 years that’ll work since my longevity projection is less than 15 years.

My new Ad will appear in the St Louis Post tomorrow.